Lucie Dunrod-Simpson from Parent Nook considers the additional challenges that summer holidays provide for parents of neurodivergent children
Ah. The Summer Holidays. Endless ice creams, snack requests and day trips. However, for all parents, the long break from school also brings a range of challenges.
Scrabbling together enough annual leave, drafting in relatives and finding clubs to cover what is basically six empty weeks can feel overwhelming for even the most positive of parents.
For parents of autistic and neurodiverse children, these weeks can feel even longer.
Whilst we may be relieved at not having to manage the daily school anxiety or home tuition, the lack of structure and finding appropriate childcare can make this a logistical nightmare. Many settings may try to be inclusive, however the unpredictability of who will be attending, along with a focus on sports and the number of children taking part can make holiday clubs inaccessible for our kids.
Specialist alternative provision for children with social communication needs is limited and often groups together children with very different profiles.
A family holiday feels like the highlight of the break for many. However, disrupted routines, extended travel, and new people and places is the opposite of what many neurodiverse children need to regulate. This can increase parental anxiety about our child becoming dysregulated, far from home.
Warmer temperatures can also add stress for our children. Whilst everyone is waiting for the sun so they can hit the M5 down to the coast, increased sensory sensitivity can mean hotter days for autistic children are spent inside, fans on, society inaccessible.
As the days stretch out in front of us, so does the building guilt about the hours our children spend on screens. Special interests for older neurodiverse children are often tech focused. Putting limits in place can feel impossible for children with limited social options.
When grappling with this it can help to consider whether the screen activity is age appropriate, safe and helps our children to regulate. Appropriate technology can support our children to interact with others, research their unique special interests and allow us to give siblings attention.
How to get through these weeks? Regulating our own emotions by keeping demands (for our children and us) to a minimum can be really impactful. Being around people who ‘get it’, where anxiety is low and no explanations are needed, can do wonders for the parents of children who struggle.
Giving your child a timetable to keep structure & reduce uncertainty around a change in routine can also be helpful. Where possible, separating activities so that everyone gets a little of what they love can relieve some of the parental guilt about our children being limited by their sibling’s needs.
Keeping things simple by not filling the days with endless activities takes the pressure off and can allow our children to just ‘be’. Paddling pool and a picnic in the garden for the ones who love the sun, screen time/books for the ones who cannot, comfy garden chair for Mum. Win.
Switching off Social media also never hurts when we are feeling a little left out.
Whilst there may be lots of things that our children are unable to participate in, they all have their own unique interests and talents. This can make life so rich and interesting for parents of neurodiverse children. Ditching societal expectations and doing what works for you is one way to get through until September.
Last but by no means least, taking some well deserved time for ourselves so that our reserves are full is really important.
Happy holidays x
Lucie Dunrod-Simpson is an Autism Mum of 3 boys, Social Worker & Parent Support Advisor providing emotional & practical support to other parents of children with Autism/PDA.
For more information or to enquire, please visit www.parentnook.co.uk Instagram @theparentnook Facebook The Parent Nook