Developmental Trauma Specialist, Jacqui Ellis, discusses some of the challenges that children can encounter at the start of a new school year
Hopefully the summer break has been a pleasant one where everyone settled into ‘being’ and spending more time with each other at home. Whilst many children blossom during the summer months – growing physically and emotionally due to enjoying more freedom in the form of increased outdoor time, physical activity and fewer restrictions – others can find the constant change in routine and going on holiday a challenge which can lead to behavioural and emotional outbursts.
This may also mean that, as a parent, you have become more aware of your child’s abilities, emotions, ‘differences’ and stages of development, some of which are causing real concern.
Such challenges and differences can reflect much earlier stages of development.
We each have our own individual experience of womb and birth which can leave imprints upon our neurology. I like to visualise these like fingerprints or maps of experience that become our subconscious ‘go to’ when we are dealing with transition or stressful times.
Due to these experiences occurring before we can speak, we tend to react, ‘act’ them out and behave before engaging our cognitive brain. As a parent, you witness your child’s behaviour as being out of sync or over-reactive in respect of what is really happening – it is as if there is a mismatch, as if your child is stuck.
When considering all the behaviours and ‘differences,’ that your child might display, it can appear to represent minor signs of neurodiversity. However, when these are viewed in isolation, they are not enough to merit assessment. Such symptoms can be described as neuromotor immaturity, a term used to describe the persistence of immature patterns of motor development which can interfere in subtle ways with coordination, balance and visual perception, affecting not only school performance but also emotional regulation and social interaction.
The presence of these symptoms can prevent children from being able to achieve their potential in the classroom or enjoy easy peer and social relationships. And paradoxically, the more intelligent the child, the greater the degree of frustration and, potentially, manipulative behaviour. The child can also easily become receptive to other problems within the family as parents feel helpless in finding effective ways to deal with the problem.
The good news is that a personalised therapeutic developmental programme can remediate such issues and create lasting change for all. Together, we will uncover the root causes for your child’s struggles whilst mentoring and empowering you with practical tools, strategies and emotional support to improve your child’s wellbeing. This will also have a positive impact on your own wellbeing and that of your family’s too. Through understanding and shifting your behaviour, you will be able to build a stronger, happier family dynamic whilst creating a nurturing environment for growth and success.
Case study
I remember working with an eleven-year-old lad who was suffering great anxiety whenever it was time to leave the house. He would become very agitated and then extremely angry, shouting and rolling around on the floor. This was obviously impacting his ability to engage with education and other life-enhancing opportunities.
As we engaged in session work, it became clear that this behaviour was related to his early time in womb. When asked to share information, he would make certain prenatal body movements and gestures, and not want any contact with mum, despite her compassionate efforts.
I sensed there was something presenting with regards to visibility. The case history showed that the pregnancy was unplanned, and mum had gone into deep shock and anxiety at the discovery. This had caused a deep fear imprint for her son around lack of safety and dysregulated attachment.
This was also showing up in his life in other ways – including a difficulty going to sleep, fear of being alone and a lack of interoception, meaning he did not know when he was hungry yet constantly craved sugary foods to feed the ever-present adrenalin and cortisol levels in his body.
I worked to ensure mum was well grounded and then invited him to sit within his mum’s crossed legs, his spine against her belly. Whilst he needed a huge amount of persuasion and the support of a cushion to hold against his belly to do this, he come into the space for approximately 10 seconds and then leapt out. I asked them both to practise this once a day at home, with the aim of working to extend the time he spent sitting in the space.
Six weeks later, mum emailed to say that the exercise had been going well, and they had worked up to holding the position for two minutes during which time she could feel her son melting into her body! She also shared that whilst the summer had been quite busy, her son had coped and even enjoyed some of the activities. She had also noticed a huge change in him when they were with family – he seemed much more relaxed.
If you think your child or family could benefit, or you would like to understand more about neuromotor immaturity, please contact email hidden; JavaScript is required for further information.